Building Bridges to Middle Childhood: Coming of Heart for Parents and Child

For the child at 7 and 8 years old, they are wavering out of a very grounded place of sensory aliveness and knowing the world through the physicality of the body, while launching into a new watery depth of feelings that arise in relationship to other.  Often referred to as the 9-year change, the child’s awareness is newly flooded with existential questions of death as they realize the limitations of the physical world and the unavoidable truth of impermanence, mortality and the ever present loss of form. Their super hero self-identity fades and is soon burdened by feelings of loss, as a pet or relative passes away, or uncharacteristic fears take over that someone dear may die or leave them.

Mother Element invites Mothers to be curious how your child’s consciousness is guiding the family journey. Your commitment to meet her in this field of knowing, as a Heart Intelligence Influencer, evokes a much larger invitation into knowing yourself more intimately than you’ve perhaps ever inquired.  This is the initiation.  Are you hearing the call?

The gifts of parenting through Feeling Consciousness (at ages 9-12) are an invitation as adults to master heart intelligence and model emotional wellbeing to our children so hungry for this skill.  What is heart intelligence? The ability to move through our feelings with attention to where they show up in the body while releasing attachment to the story and events interwoven with the feelings. As Heart Intelligence mentors, we parents invite our children into the realm of feelings, without the drama or story.  We create a safe place to flow with the feelings in a way that honors self expression and well-being of self and other.  This open curiosity creates a home culture that nurtures compassion and empathy, without needing to know the "answers" or solutions to problems.  We simply stay in the relationship as present hearted witness while trusting the path will unfold in the safety of the relationship between parent and child. This embodied emotionality bridges the sensory world of early years with the arising emotionality of the feeling realm. Once our child experiences this true witness to their new uncensored emotions, no matter how absurd their requests, they usually experience quick shifts from big feelings to the next moment of play and inquiry.

In the first 7 years before the child shifts towards experiencing the world through their emotions, the gifts of parenting through the early years are an invitation as adults to drop the mind and bring embodiment into the foreground of your attention-- to remember the child-like wonder of knowing the world directly through your 5 senses, to feel sensuality and bring our presence in the moment.  This is actually what is required to communicate and connect with your child under 7, entering their sensory consciousness and see how they experience the world and what drives their needs.

As a family that grows together, we oscillate between Body and Feeling realms for two whole years, following our child's lead, as most complete their transition fully at the 9-year change.  Mother Element's family work is inspired by the ground breaking family development and whole child education work of Ba and Josette Luvmour.  They created Natural Learning Relationships, and continue to refine their work for the last 30 years, as a resource for thousands of families and educators seeking to understand how to support, nourish and honor their child.  The Luvmour's work, along with the indigenous wisdom of the medicine wheel, has informed Mother Element's family compass that guides family connection through transition and change.